Saturday, January 16, 2016


I'd like to complain about how sick I've been in the last 24 hours, but instead I am very thankful that whatever I contracted is only going to stick around for about a day and a half. I witnessed one of my roommates battle a mild fever for close to two weeks. I've seen coworkers go from "just a chest cold" to pneumonia in less than a week.

Instead, I am going to write about how job hunting is a lot like dating.

Your current relationship is in the slumps. The hours are too long, the pay is too low, the boss too demanding, and your coworkers are all unhappy. So you start looking, innocently. You just want to see what else is out there, right? No harm in that.
Until you find the perfect match.
The hours are exactly what you've been dreaming of! The pay is what you know you're worth as an employee, maybe even a bit more than that. Leaving would be so worth it!
They match you, but do you match them?
Your goals in life are very similar, but maybe you're missing a qualification or two. Luck would have it that they are the desired qualifications, not the necessary ones. So you can definitely learn those on the job, you know you are more than able to rise to the task of your new partners demands.

After you hit "Confirm" on the submit application page, you begin to realize you're more excited than you originally thought you could ever be. This could be IT. THE relationship you've been looking for. The benefits are so great, better than any you've ever known before.

Then you wait.
The rule is three days, right?
No. Maybe is was something closer to five. Or seven. Yes. Seven sounds right. You very impatiently wait seven excruciating days. During each of those days you go over every single personality question you answered, second guessing yourself and wondering if you definitely answered one or two of those improperly. Maybe you could have not told *that* story when asked how you handled a coworker who usurped your authority on a project.

When you finally do call they sound ecstatic. Yes, they had been meaning to call you and planned to do so today! Why don't you come in later this week for an interview? You try to hide the excitement in your voice, don't want to sound too interested too early. Now is the perfect time to play it cool.

The big date is here and I will bet my bottom dollar you have dressed your best. It's the perfect mix of dressing for the job you want, and showing just a hint of your own personal style and flair. You stride in confidently, pleased with yourself at the choice of location. It's beautiful. The neighborhood is beautiful. Parking is free and ample. There's even great looking apartment complexes well within comfortable driving distance. Could it get any better?

The anxiety rapidly sets in as you nervously sip your water you were freely offered. What if they don't like you? What if you didn't dress just right? What if you should have been more business and less casual? But when the supervisor finally greets you, your nerves settle a little bit. They are kind, friendly, and welcoming. You get a mini tour, meet some friendly faces, and find yourself accidentally daydreaming about seeing these same faces everyday and working alongside them. Yes. The farther this goes the more it seems like this really is the one.

But then the real interview starts. You aren't as prepared as you thought you were to answer them. You answer them with a bit of false confidence, you can feel yourself quaking a little on the inside. As the interview progresses things seems to go less and less in your favor, but you manage to maintain the outward sense of confidence.

Back in your old relationship - er, job - you convince yourself it went way better than it actually did. You are going to get the phone call, you are GOING to get good news. I mean. You have to get some good news, they have to see past your flaws and know deep down you are prompt, and dedicated employee no matter the circumstances.

But it never comes. Instead, you get an email. An email that regretfully informs you that you weren't the right fit they were looking for to fill the position.

And so it ends. You go back to your old relationship, seeing new joy in some things, but more disappointment in most things. Because if only you had made that new opportunity work then you'd be so much happier and fulfilled.

(part one)

[part two will arrive just when it's supposed to next week]

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