Saturday, January 16, 2016


I'd like to complain about how sick I've been in the last 24 hours, but instead I am very thankful that whatever I contracted is only going to stick around for about a day and a half. I witnessed one of my roommates battle a mild fever for close to two weeks. I've seen coworkers go from "just a chest cold" to pneumonia in less than a week.

Instead, I am going to write about how job hunting is a lot like dating.

Your current relationship is in the slumps. The hours are too long, the pay is too low, the boss too demanding, and your coworkers are all unhappy. So you start looking, innocently. You just want to see what else is out there, right? No harm in that.
Until you find the perfect match.
The hours are exactly what you've been dreaming of! The pay is what you know you're worth as an employee, maybe even a bit more than that. Leaving would be so worth it!
They match you, but do you match them?
Your goals in life are very similar, but maybe you're missing a qualification or two. Luck would have it that they are the desired qualifications, not the necessary ones. So you can definitely learn those on the job, you know you are more than able to rise to the task of your new partners demands.

After you hit "Confirm" on the submit application page, you begin to realize you're more excited than you originally thought you could ever be. This could be IT. THE relationship you've been looking for. The benefits are so great, better than any you've ever known before.

Then you wait.
The rule is three days, right?
No. Maybe is was something closer to five. Or seven. Yes. Seven sounds right. You very impatiently wait seven excruciating days. During each of those days you go over every single personality question you answered, second guessing yourself and wondering if you definitely answered one or two of those improperly. Maybe you could have not told *that* story when asked how you handled a coworker who usurped your authority on a project.

When you finally do call they sound ecstatic. Yes, they had been meaning to call you and planned to do so today! Why don't you come in later this week for an interview? You try to hide the excitement in your voice, don't want to sound too interested too early. Now is the perfect time to play it cool.

The big date is here and I will bet my bottom dollar you have dressed your best. It's the perfect mix of dressing for the job you want, and showing just a hint of your own personal style and flair. You stride in confidently, pleased with yourself at the choice of location. It's beautiful. The neighborhood is beautiful. Parking is free and ample. There's even great looking apartment complexes well within comfortable driving distance. Could it get any better?

The anxiety rapidly sets in as you nervously sip your water you were freely offered. What if they don't like you? What if you didn't dress just right? What if you should have been more business and less casual? But when the supervisor finally greets you, your nerves settle a little bit. They are kind, friendly, and welcoming. You get a mini tour, meet some friendly faces, and find yourself accidentally daydreaming about seeing these same faces everyday and working alongside them. Yes. The farther this goes the more it seems like this really is the one.

But then the real interview starts. You aren't as prepared as you thought you were to answer them. You answer them with a bit of false confidence, you can feel yourself quaking a little on the inside. As the interview progresses things seems to go less and less in your favor, but you manage to maintain the outward sense of confidence.

Back in your old relationship - er, job - you convince yourself it went way better than it actually did. You are going to get the phone call, you are GOING to get good news. I mean. You have to get some good news, they have to see past your flaws and know deep down you are prompt, and dedicated employee no matter the circumstances.

But it never comes. Instead, you get an email. An email that regretfully informs you that you weren't the right fit they were looking for to fill the position.

And so it ends. You go back to your old relationship, seeing new joy in some things, but more disappointment in most things. Because if only you had made that new opportunity work then you'd be so much happier and fulfilled.

(part one)

[part two will arrive just when it's supposed to next week]

Friday, January 8, 2016


It's a new dawn, a new day, and I'm feeling

just ok.

It's been a strange, and hard winter thus far. But it was hard even before it was winter. It was hard being unemployed. Then it became hard working in retail. And it was hard to get turned down from another job after another set of interviews

and it's another disappointment.

But hey. Like the kind lady at Church said to me on Sunday "It means God didn't want you there. He wants you somewhere else." It sure appears that way.

Today. I'm taking another step in finding where that place might be: I'm applying to attend to University Education to attain my bachelors degree.

Here. We.

"I am three and half years out of any kind of learning institution. When I graduated from Hocking Technical College with my double associates degrees I never planned on returning to professional education for a bachelors degree. I fully intended on dedicating the rest of my career life to the Food Industry, with the hopes of one day owning my own establishment in the wine country Northern California. But as it turns out, working in food is an extremely high stress environment that was taking harsh and unexpected tolls on my physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual health. I gave a year and a half of my fully dedicated time to a job that left me with nothing but deep scars I am still healing from. I gave the industry another chance at a truly wonderful establishment, where I did a lot of healing and met a lot of the people that make the food industry so great. At the end of a year with them I finally realized cooking really is not for me.

After four months of deliberation, and consideration I have made the choice to return to professional education to take myself, my career, and my life in a completely new direction. Being a resident of Columbus, and having many friends who have studied and graduated from The Ohio State University (and many friends who are still studying), I believe that this great institution really is the best place for me to discover my next step in life.

I also believe that I am a great fit for this institution because I have previous college experience, I understand how classrooms work and how learning environments can be made better by caring and attentive students (or, sadly, the opposite). Seven years of cooking has taught me so much about independent responsibility, and claiming responsibility for things as my own, as well as the constant need for clear, and direct communication in situations where good communication is challenging. Three and half years out of college and out on my own has forced me to learn the crucial skills of time and money management as I have faced the trials of adulthood and the working lower-middle class."

I turns out this exceeds the character limit and I have to shorten this quite a bit....

Friday, November 20, 2015


As I'm writing this, I am surprising myself with just how tired I am. It's not quite 8:30pm and already my eyes are drooping, my thoughts are becoming lazy, and I'm trying to make a viable excuse to not go do my laundry.
Which is patiently sitting in front of the washer.
But I have to do my laundry tonight, right now, or I will have no socks for work tomorrow.
Because I am Queen at putting something off until I absolutely have to do it and have left myself with no other choice than to JUST DO IT ALREADY.

See? I'm even writing this so I don't have to go do laundry. It's that terrible. Don't you understand?!

After being unemployed for two months my body has forgotten what it's like to work an honest days work at a standing job. My back aches, and vocal words don't want to form. I've spent most of my day talking to people and repeating the same five or six different phrases.

But. I like my job. I didn't think I would. I was dreading going back to retail after four years away from it. But I really do enjoy it. The store is vibrant, unique, and whimsical; a lot like me. It's like if I had my way in life, had all the money in the world, built a store, and filled it with things that are pretty and snacks that are tasty. See. I can never settle on a decor theme. I change my mind far too often. One day I like rustic, distressed wood. The next I am stuck on Feng Shui.

And World Market is just as indecisive as I am. My easily stimulated senses never tire of the wondrous things my store has to offer.

Everyday it is a battle with my flesh to not buy ANOTHER Christmas ornament or decoration that I know, deep down, I don't actually need. Everyday I remind myself why I am at this job. Why I am here and not back at my old one.
Today, a manager I used to work with at the last Restaurant came in and bought some glasses from me. He was surprised to find me out of my whites and even said "I thought you were, like, Restaurant for life!"

I did too. I really, really did. It's days like these that remind me exactly why I left. Why I hung up my jacket for the last time. Why I took a rather steep pay cut to better my overall well being.
So I sigh, a little, because it is still bittersweet and still hard to talk about with people who knew me as a White.
But then I smile, because I really truly am happy to be where I am now.

"Hi, welcome to World Market! Can I help you find anything today?"